The REAL examination
by kissitgoodbye
Summary: James finishes his exam early and now things get interesting in the Great Hall. JamesLily. PeterWormy Abuse.
1. Is it finished already?

_**The REAL examination**_

Author's best friend note: Word. Dude, don't diss little-arty about her horrible use of poor Peter and his drooling problem. That was inspired by some random though wave I gave her one stormy night in 1834. Yes, we were both around then… I swear. I bet you the five bucks my dad happened to hand me today. Enjoy, people of the world. Sammy-Sanity (Or lack thereof)

A/N: Please don't mind my friend, she's crazy, and my main source of inspiration (Yesh, most of this story is based off of our so called "connection"). This doesn't have a plot right now, but one should develop later... I hope.

Disclaimer: I, me, or any part of my sanity… or insanity, does not own Harry Potter or The marauders, or Lily Evans. Although I wish I did and want to hurt J.K. Rowling for taking them first, I shall be peaceful and just write fanfics instead.

Chapter One: Is it finished already?

It was a hot June day in the Hogwarts great hall. James relaxed back into his chair and smiled. He had finished his exam early, as usual. The charms year seven written exam was particularly easy. He closed his eyes and started to think to himself. He would often do this, only to have his genius thoughts (he was unusually smart, although he did not choose to display his talents) interrupted by daydreams of Lily Evans, who was still writing her exam next to him. Suddenly, he heard another voice in his head, as he most often did.

"Hello James, stop staring at Lily... she's noticed." Remus interrupted smugly. James smiled and looked over to Remus, just behind him by a couple of rows, who smiled and waved, looking pale from his last transformation. This interruption of his thoughts by Remus was not uncommon, as the Marauders all had a special connection, almost telepathic. They would spend hours in the common room, not talking out loud, but by just brainwaves.

"She looks unusually cute today doesn't she Prongs?" An ecstatic sounding Peter almost drooled. He was on the other side of Lily, staring dreamily and letting a glob of drool hang to his lower lip.

Prongs nodded, entranced by Lily, until Wormtail's words sunk in. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT WORMFACE?" Prongs mentally yelled, his face turning an angry red. Wormtail looked over to Prongs, startled by this sudden outburst. Prongs' look of anger startled Wormtail, who gave a little mental 'meep' and jumped under his desk, to a confused but laughing Lily's amusement.

"Don't be so… so…" Remus stuttered, clearly at a loss for words, since he wasn't really paying attention, but staring dumb-founded at Narcissa from Slytherin, who was flipping her golden hair entrancingly.

"Evil? Like me?" Sirius suddenly added in.

"Yes… like that," Remus smiled, yet again staring at a girl, this time a fellow Gryffindor.

"Where'd you come from Padfoot?" Prongs muttered... clearly aggravated by how everybody was teaming up against his obsession with Lily.

"From over here!" Padfoot gave a little cough from the back corner, where he had been put to avoid disturbing anybody while the examination was in process. He pulled out his wand a muttered a little spell, making little floating hearts appear over Remus' head. "A little charm for our love struck Moony," He added to clear up confusion.

"PADFOOT!" Moony squealed. "Remove them… please?"

"Just wait right there for a second Marauders!" Prongs added quickly. "I'm writing this all down and since we can't have quick note quills in the exams... I have to do it manually. There we go. You can talk again."

"Well thank you for that little bit Prongs. Wait… you're writing this down? Wait! Don't write this down! No!" Padfoot pouted.

"Don't you still have to finish your exam Padfoot?" Moony asked.

"Um... Yesh. THAT'S RIGHT! I said yesh! Oh right... exam. I'll get right on that then."

"Crazy Toaster." Prongs sighed. "When will he get brains?"

"I HEARD THAT!" Padfoot said.

"Oops… well then... finish your exam!"

"I'm sorry Prongsy, didn't hear that."

Prongs hung his head and mouthed to Moony 'Stupid.' Making Moony suppress a giggle.

"So Lily…" Wormtail said out loud to Lily. "Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me sometime?" Lily looked around to make sure none of the teachers were looking, and with a look of disgust on her face, whispered a spell. One single word floated out of her wand and plastered itself on Wormtail's head. Prongs, who was watching this whole spectacle with great interest, laughed.

"What does it say?" Wormtail communicated to Prongs.

"Slugboy," Prongs smiled. "That just gave me an idea." Prongs pulled his wand out too, and whispered the same spell Lily did. Instead of words plastering themselves onto Wormtail's head, they were plastered onto Lilys.

"Make her turn around so me and Padfoot can see it!" Moony said excitedly, who was also watching. Prongs uttered another spell, and Lily was forced to turn around to face Moony and Padfoot, the words 'James' Hot Mama' on her forehead in big neon pink letters.

"I was going to go with Green, but I thought Pink would bring out her eyes." Prongs swung around to get thumbs up from Moony and Padfoot pretending to yawn and put his arm around his invisible girlfriend.

"Since I'm done my exam now…" Padfoot grinned, "Might as well help you make a fool of yourself infront of Lily. Put your arm around her, chicks LOVE that."

"Well, you guys can't talk then, I won't be able to keep writing this down." Prongs muttered.

"Oh go ahead, I'll continue it from right after I stop talking here." Moony volunteered. Prongs' face lit up and he started to yawn. Stretching out, he slid his arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Looks like it's working mate." Padfoot said gleefully, excited his buddy was actually attracting, instead of repelling a girl.

"You'll... have to shut up in my head at least, so I can think straight about what to do next." Prongs stuttered.

"And watch you be stupid so Lily kills you? I don't think so!" Padfoot answered.

"I'm offended… how come you are helping him with HIS crush on Lily?" Wormtail pouted. "I feel so unloved."

"That's because you are."

"Don't be so harsh on him Padfoot. Although it's true." Moony added.

"Well then, if you don't love me… I just won't be your guys' friend anymore. Wait.. I NEED you guys! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Wormtail pleaded.

"SHUT UP YOU GITS! LILY EVANS IS TURNING TOWARDS ME! I NEED TO THINK CLEARLY!" Prongs yelled.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed my first chapter of my first fanfic. Please send reviews, I love them, and I promise I'll only let my best friend's cat eat them if they displease me. But I'm sure they won't.. I love listening to people! I also like licking their feet… wait… I didn't just say that out loud did I? Second chapter to come soon .


	2. Title in Progress

Chapter Two: Title in Progress

"I'm offended… how come you are helping him with HIS crush on Lily?" Wormtail pouted. "I feel so unloved."

"That's because you are."

"Don't be so harsh on him Padfoot. Although it's true." Moony added.

"Well then, if you don't love me… I just won't be your guys' friend anymore. Wait.. I NEED you guys! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Wormtail pleaded.

"SHUT UP YOU GITS! LILY EVANS IS TURNING TOWARDS ME! I NEED TO THINK CLEARLY!" Prongs yelled.

---

Lily turned towards Prongs, a smile over her face. She leaned towards Prongs, and whispered something in his ear.

"WHAT'D SHE SAY?" Padfoot squealed to Prongs, jumping up and down in his chair.

"Um… maybe I shouldn't tell you." Prongs muttered.

"Come on! PUH-LEASE! I'll lick Kreacher's FEET! (A/N I'm just assuming that Sirius would have had Kreacher back then.)" Padfoot pleaded.

"Are you sure about that?" Moony laughed. "I didn't think Kreacher ever bathed."

"He doesn't… that's how much I want to know what she said!" Padfoot whined.

"Fine, fine, fine!" Prongs muttered. "She said, and this REALLY isn't very exciting, but it might kill Padfoot. 'Lean in closer'."

Like Prongs had suggested, Padfoot gave a little gasp and fell sideways off of his chair. "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT THEN?"

"I didn't know if I should!" Prongs whimpered, obviously scared.

"Well do it now then. Or you'll lose your chance AND Lily." Padfoot said.

Prongs gulped and moved his chair a little closer to Lily. "Is… Is… th… that goo… good?" Prongs stuttered.

"Yes you bloody nincompoop!"

"Padfoot! Be nice to our datingly challenged friend!" Moony warned Padfoot.

"You're as datingly challenged as he is Moony!" Padfoot mumbled back.

"I've read about it in books and…"

"Oooh! Read about it in books! You've sure had a lot of experience!" Padfoot teased.

"I didn't get to finish my sentence! I was going to say… and I've gone out with Narcissa Lestrange (A/N I'm not positively sure whether or not that's her maiden name or not, but since she's Bellatrixes sister and that's her last name I don't think she got married I'm just assuming) before!"

Padfoot gasped and fell off his chair again. "You've gone out with my COUSIN!" He screamed, enraged.

"YOU'VE GONE OUT WITH HIS COUSIN!" Wormtail and Prongs yelped together, turning around to face Moony. Prongs' fast motion made Lily look up from where she was cuddling in his arms.

"Wha?" She stuttered out loud.

"Moony… I mean Remus went out with Sirius' cousin Narcissa." Prongs whispered into her ear.

"Oh! I've known about that for YEARS! It was back in fourth year! I think I was probably the first person to know since I walked in on them making out in the empty transfiguration classroom." Lily smiled. "Figures you guys just figured it out now. They've been dating for three years now!"

Prongs communicated this back to Padfoot and Wormtail. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF VOLDEMORT MADE YOU DO THAT!" Padfoot screamed.

"Well… well… Lily shouldn't have told you guys!" Moony whimpered.

"Don't you blame this on my Lily!" Prongs pulled her closer and rested his head on hers, now resting on his shoulder.

"She's your Lily? You've been cuddling for not even two minutes!" Moony rolled his eyes.

"Who cares?" Prongs frowned.

"Is Moony still writing this down?" Wormtail added, almost forgotten now.

"Um… Yes." Moony said proudly. "I have… two and a half pages. So in total with Prongs, I believe we have just about four pages. We should title this."

"Who cares about the bloody pages! You're still going out with my cousin!" Padfoot moaned. "I have a good mind to pummel you… or at least hex you horribly. I might be in Gryffindor, but Slytherin still runs in my veins!"

"How about just 'Title in Progress' for now?" Remus whimpered.

A/N: Sorry about the short chapter, but I'm not supposed to be typing on the laptop and eating YanYan (sort of like Pocky!) at the same time… the keys get sticky . Please Review! Third chapter to come!


	3. Forgetful Fool

Chapter Three: Forgetful fool

A/N: Thanks for all your beloved reviews! I'm so happy I already have a devoted fan! If it wasn't for your 'demanding' a new chapter, I'd still be trying to get Levicorpus to work with my wand! So far it's not working. But I'll get it to work by the time the next movie comes out! I'm so excited! Anyways, I should start writing now; you don't just want to read my author notes.

Disclaimer: I forgot this for my last chapter, but consider this one for both of them. I don't own the Marauders, although I do have a shrine to them I worship them regularly. JKR owns them, and she graciously lets people write fanfics. Write to her and thank her gratefully!

"YOU OBNOXIOUS PRAT!" Padfoot roared. "RAR! I'll eat your SPLEEN for this!"

"What the?" Prongs muttered.

"Sorry, must add dramatic effect. It wouldn't sound good to say I'm just going to poke you viciously!" Padfoot apologized.

"AH! NUUUU POKEY!" Moony squealed.

"Pocky?" Wormtail muttered, waking up.

"What the A/N Deleted, must keep Rating K?" Padfoot said.

"It's good! ACCIO POCKY!" A pack of strawberry Pocky whipped open the door to the great hall and whacked Padfoot on the head while flying towards Wormtail.

"I'll get you for that Wormtail!" Padfoot moaned, rubbing his head, forgetting all about his grudge to Moony.

"We should take his 'My little ponies' and burn them." Prongs suggested. "I think Lily is drooling on my arm."

"Ew." Padfoot shuddered. "But that's a good idea for Wormtail. Remind me to do that when the exam is over in… like 15 minutes."

"You guys hurt me…" Wormtail sobbed.

"That's because you suck." Lily added.

"HOW'D YOU DO THAT?" Moony gaped.

"This is quite an interesting conversation." Lily giggled. "I used a spell to read what Remus is writing. Or should I just call him Moony?"

"Still… how'd you get to be able to talk in it?" Padfoot stuttered.

"Well I don't know exactly, but I figure that since you guys have the bond… I should be able to get in on it too. I mean, if I have a kind of bond with Jamesy now, I should have a bond with you guys too."

"But how'd you know we were talking?" Moony asked.

"Wormtail has been muttering about it in his sleep for a bit now, and I didn't drool on your arm Jamesy!"

"Jamesy…" Padfoot sniggered.

"Levicorpus!" Prongs muttered, flicking his wand at Padfoot. (A/N: This is the spell to lift people upside down. This is just incase you didn't know yet. I won't tell you what book this is from so as not to ruin it. Lol)

"Put him down!" Lily hit Prongs lovingly.

"Fine." Prongs muttered the other spell to lower Padfoot.

"How'd you develop a bond with Prongs... I mean James, so quickly?" Wormtail asked.

"We've been dating for about a week. We thought we'd surprise you guys." Lily smiled.

Padfoot and Moony fell off of their chairs. Making a loud thump.

---

A/N: I know you probably don't like an ending like this. But I was up til past midnight last night watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I'm quite tired. So I wrote a quicky chapter. Seeing as there is only like 15 minutes left in the exam, I will be continuing to another Exam after this. Not sure which exam, if you'd prefer one exam, please review and tell me which one you'd love for me to use! Next chapter will include the Marauders reaction to the dating news!

XIllyriaX: Thanks for being my first "devoted" fan (If you aren't devoted, I don't care, it makes me feel all warm inside.). If it wasn't for you, this chapter would be delayed a bit. I'd still be trying to make spells work on my wand. Wormtail sucks, and I shall make him hurt next chapter. Maybe I'll change history and mortally wound him. Never know!

Sammy-insanity: Thanks for being the first to read my story! You're the best friend I could ask for! Thanks for helping me make my wand!


	4. How'd you do that?

Chapter Four: How'd you do that?

A/N: I'm so happy! I have two devoted fans! Stephi, my second devoted fan has promised me a cake to make sure I write this chapter. I better get that cake! Sorry for taking a little while to update, but between getting my hair died, getting ready for school and getting turntable in my room (Yesh I'm lucky) I've been quite busy. I will try to get at least a chapter up a week now that school is starting.

"How'd you develop a bond with Prongs... I mean James, so quickly?" Wormtail asked.

"We've been dating for about a week. We thought we'd surprise you guys." Lily smiled.

Padfoot and Moony fell off of their chairs making a loud thump.

---

Lily giggled. "Jamesy had has such a hard time hiding it from you guys. He kept wanting to tell you."

"It was HARD!" Prongs pouted.

"Wha? I'm still lost at the part where you two were dating…" Moony stuttered.

"I thought… you hated Pro- I mean Jamesy!" Padfoot gaped, astonished.

"Well, yes. I did. But now I think he's so sweet. Did you guys know he's been trying to win me over with my favorite muggle chocolates for the past year?" Lily swooned.

"I wondered what those things were…" Wormtail said.

"Shut up. Nobody loves you. We're still going to destroy your 'my little ponies' after this!"

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed. "Don't be so mean."

Padfoot grumbled. "Why'd James have to like her? I would have rather had him like Narcissa."

"Heh-Hem!" Lily coughed. "I can hear you!"

"Sorry, Sorry!" Padfoot pleaded. "Don't hurt me!"

"Anyways, I didn't want to ever tell you guys, but…"

"You didn't want us to know Lily? How could you do that to us? To me? Little innocent Remus?" Moony made a big puppydog face.

"But… Now that I'm pregnant, I thought we should tell you." Lily ended.

"WHAT?" The marauders all fainted.

"You guys fall for things too easily." Lily laughed. "Of course I'm not pregnant. You'd think I'd be stupid enough to have James' baby when I'm not even out of school yet?"

The marauders lept up into their chairs after falling off when they fainted. "Does that mean that after you're out of school, this year, you'll have his baby?" Padfoot prodded.

"Maybe…" Lily said slyly, blushing.

"Yuck!" Wormtail spat. "How gross would that baby look? James isn't even cute!"

"Sectumsempra!" Padfoot waved his wand and Wormtail was on the floor squirming with blood spurting out of his chest.

Lily gasped. "How could you Sirius?"

"He insulted James! I don't like my adoptive brother getting hurt." Padfoot pouted.

"Ah… I guess. That's alright then." Lily muttered a spell and Wormtail stopped squirming, and the blood stopped.

"How come you think I'm not cute?" Prongs muttered. "I'm totally cute."

"Yes you are Jamesy." Lily purred, stroking his cheek.

"Am I cute?" Moony asked Wormtail.

"Quite cute." Wormtail gasped, regaining breath.

"In my opinion, you're cute too Wormy." Moony giggled.

"We should go out then." Wormtail smiled.

"Okay!" Moony blushed.

"What's going on here? How come everybody but me gets somebody? And why is Moony and Wormtail hugging?" Padfoot wailed. "Hey! I should hug Stephi! And Devoted Fan #1/A/N: I'm sorry, I didn't know your name, but I thought you should get some Padfoot lovin' for being devoted /" Padfoot waved his wand. "ACCIO STEPHI and ACCIO DEVOTED FAN #1!" Pulling them into a great big hug he started to cry. "This is all so… so sweet!"

A/N: Yo everybody! How'd you like my groovy new chapter? In the next chapter we'll find out a little bit more about Remus and Peter and why they suddenly are in love.

Stephi: I want my cake. I gave you a new chapter, give me cake /pouts/.

Devoted Fan #1: I'm just going to call you this until I can actually remember your username or you give me something else to call y by like a nickname… like Paper! I should call you paper. And yesh, you could work on your devoted fan bowing!

Liljean15690: I know the spell is non-verbal, but you don't type in all Caps for one, that's just rude and how else would people know that James was using Levicorpus? It's called artistic license. /sticks out tongue/ Sorry for my brunt rudeness but, that was just aggravating.


End file.
